Guns 'n' Handcuffs Memories


Poems and Songs, Lists by the Ship



Poems and Songs


Not a Love Poem by PheonixSong126


This is not a love poem.

I never learned how to love,

And I'm sure you wouldn't understand poetry.


These are just words, some blotches of ink, and a scrap of parchment.

But if that was all,

I wouldn't be sweating as I write.

If that was all,

I wouldn't be writing,

Would I?


This is not a love poem,

Because I hate you,

And I'm sure you feel quite the same.


Or perhaps indifferent.

Are you indifferent, Potter?

Potter?

Harry?


I'm not.


There are days when I want to crush you.

Crush your face beneath my fists.

Crush your ribs beneath my boots.

Crush your mouth beneath my lips.

Crush your soul with mine.


I want to own you,

But I'll never have you.

The World has you already.

Do you like that?


This is not a love song,

Because I can't sing,

And I'm sure you're tone-deaf anyway.


Come on, there has to be something you can't do.

Carry a tune in a bucket?

Carry the World on your shoulders?

Carry me home?


You can't.


This is not a cry in the dark,

Because the lights are on,

And I'm home.


Come home.


Home… the Serpent's Lair, the Lion's Den…

Where do the dark creatures await you?

To devour you,

And crush you?


I want to devour you.


I want you to hear me.

Silent screaming.

I want you to reach me,

The unreachable,

The unlovable,

But I don't want to be reached,

And I can't be loved.


This is not a love poem, Potter.

Because through the cold sweat,

Hot angry tears,

Blood seeping from nail imprints on the palm of my hand,

I don't love you.

I don't love myself either.


I'd make you bleed as surely as I've bled.

But I haven't felt that pain.

So cut me.

You're the only one who makes me hurt.

You've done it so many times.


Sharp, cold, uncaring,

Run right through me.

The blood would flow freely.

Be still my beating heart.


This is not a love poem.

It would take a heart to write one.


Themesong by Culavariel & Sparkling_Cider


Draco and Harry snogging in a tree,

S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G

First comes handcuffs,

And then comes gutter,

Arguing over who'll be on top,

Sends our hearts a'flutter.


Draco and Harry having a fling,

S-H-A-G-G-I-N-G

First peeps the fangirls,

The fanguys arrive too,

"Save us from Gs+Hs",

What are the boys going to do?


Harry and Draco get in a fight

They yell and they scream into the night

First they just throw things

Then they wave the white flag

They make up and talk it out and then they SHAG!


A Song, to the Tune of "Spongebob Square Pants." by Anya Malfoy and Dai


Who lives in a pirate ship floating SCUSA?

Gutterpirates!

Who has gutters, spoons, t00by-ness for all to see?

Gutterpirates!


If guttery H/D is somethin' ye ship

Then hop on the deck, and read slashy fics!

Kinky?

Gutterpirates!

Gutterpirates!

Gutter~piraaates!


GnH Official Rap by Wiltana


I sail the Guns'n'Handcuffs, that's the ship that I loff

Harry and Draco shagging really gets me off

All us gutterpirates truly like each other

We have huge Orgies, we call each other 'lover'

We talk BSTs and fluffy guttery skits

When Tom checks out Daniel, we all go into fits

P is our Captain, and a good one she is, too

We elected her fairly when Rhysenn we overthrew

Along with Rice as our First Mate, she's our cup of tea

And the role of First Lieutenant went to lovely Kirsty

Then on SCUSA domination did we set our sights

We aspired to reach Pumpkin Pie heights

First Fire and Ice we bested, moving lightning fast

Then onto Leather and Libraries, which we overtook at last

When Greenfairy made the fateful post that we still remember

And now we're here, just past December

We've rowed and rowed, the wind is blowing loyally

But we just won't rest until we beat Pumpkin Pie royally

I'll admit we still have a long way to go

But our stalwart ship just won't give up, so

We'll navigate the oceans, full of GnH pride

With many tied to the mast, Draco on one side

Feel free to join us, lurkers, if you care to cross that line

Just remember H/D's awesome, and all else will be fine


Ode to the Gutterpirates by Sappho


We had a great plan did the pirates and I

We would rule the whole fandom and EAT THE DAMN PIE!

We would enlighten the masses and fly our great flag

then kidnap Teh Newbies with a plastic bin bag


The ship did set sail with captain P at the front

Then row for our lives with a heave and a grunt.

Kai did the gutter, Velven the twist

Rach poured the Mai tai's- oh damn it, she missed.


These are the sisters but there are some more

Stef's spirit for instance makes up at least four.

There's Octune, there's D3ad, there's wee Miss Charmed too

They make up three more on the list of the crew.


Meet some more pirates called Frances and Kurla

I can't think of a rhyme, this verse makes me hurla.

Hello dear Muse! Is that Hannio I see?

Ithaca is here and there's loffly Lily.


Jetsam, Jimwise, Shirley and Jack

Feel like an orgy so jump into the sack.

Sita and Slumber perve at the four

Charlotte dives in and invites in some more.


Yay orgy! We cry and wade through the fray

Kitten finds Erika, Dot finds Esjay.

*Shagshagshag* goes Ravie for hours

Row harder bribittribbit! The fandom is ours!


Flawed, oh dear Flawed who shags on the floor,

on the table, the cupboard, the mast and by the door.

Nuala is present, Amanda is here

please join us too! To bring victory near.


Eli? Nicole? Are you ready to sail?

Corporate is back, there's no need to *flail*

Essa shags Napolde and snogs 86'd

There's so much sex and lookie it's mixed!


Aboard comes Evan- purple Ahoy!

He shacks up with Aethen, on SS Fanboy

Sputzo hoist main sail! Rice cast away!

Wiltana here's the compass we're sailing today!


To yonder sunset we will make haste

Dru find the handcuffs, no time to waste!

Back on the deck the crew will not dally

Waiting for inspection from sweet pirate Callie.


Here returns Kirsty our E-mentor host

bringing in Reut, natabug then lachrymose.

Jaz brings the bondage, Uber oldbies appear

Right that's the lot- we're outta here.


If you're not mentioned, if you're left out

I'm sorry, I am, I deserve a big clout.

Off we shall prance (very Malfoyesque)

Holy S***! I missed me, oh damn it *headdesk*


Seussian Magnum Opus by Ithaca


Draco: Sad is me, for I did see, Dean Thomas kissing my Harry.

Harry: It was not me! It cannot be! My snogging partner's only thee!

Draco: I know it must be so, why don't you just go?

Harry: Oh no! Oh no! *Harry cries in tragic woe*

Draco: You swear it's not?

Harry: Perish the thought!

Draco: You still think I'm hot? That Dean Thomas is not?

Harry: Of course he is not and I love you a lot!

Draco: Swear to me and don't be coy, you will never kiss another boy?

Harry: I will not kiss another boy, I will never do it, Malfoy!

Draco: Not in the cupboard beneath the stairs?

Harry: Never, never, now please calm your fears!

Draco: My kiss is something you would miss?

Harry: Your kiss is nothing but pure bliss!

Draco: You'd never kiss a Gryffindor?

Harry: Even the thought I do abhor.

Draco: *smiled bright and pursed his lips*

Harry: *put his hands on Draco's hips*

Draco: It is resolved, do you agree?

Harry: I do now hurry and kiss me!


Aethen, Outta Control


I crown myself Slytherin's king

Of my beauty, my subjects sing.

But my father's in jail

"It's unfair!" I rail.

On Potter my fury shall spring.


The Boy Who Lived must prevail

And never be thought of as frail.

But sometimes, at night,

I hide from their sight,

And tremble with thoughts that I'll fail.


A Malfoy must always be right

Through money or power or fright.

We're better than all

And we hold them in thrall.

No one approaches our might.


No one else can hear his calls

In classrooms, in bedrooms and halls.

The darkness draws near.

Enveloped by fear,

In dreams where children he mauls.


Potter's taken all that I held dear

I'll teach him the meaning of fear.

I'll make him pay

But the Dark Lord, they say

Whispers horrors to him he must hear.


Lucius was killed yesterday.

Voldemort enjoyed it, at play.

The servant got caught,

Freedom can't be bought.

The Dark Lord turned him into prey.


What lesson is there to be taught

To the boy the Dark Lord has fought?

His parents erased,

My father disgraced.

He's suffered. I got what I sought.


My breakfast today had no taste.

I could see Malfoy where I faced.

Daily Prophet, page four.

Moving pictures of gore.

He strode quietly out, in no haste.


I don't know who to hate more.

Potter, or Lord Voldemort.

Damn him for lying

And damn him for dying

And damn that white mask he wore.


I know I should not be spying.

But Draco . . . he looks like he's crying.

But I know his pain

A void he can't feign.

I feel for him, there's no denying.


They can't see my tears through the rain.

Malfoys don't cry when one's slain.

I should never have cared

How the stupid man fared

Serving someone who's insane.


I'd go to him if I dared

And tell him his sorrow is shared.

Surely I'm hated

With thirst never slated.

Oh, how he looks with soul bared.


My friends are in class. No one waited

To speak of this death that was fated.

Alone now and forever

All feelings I'll sever

Someday this pain will be abated.


He sees me, this cannot be clever.

I can't leave him here, however.

I'm someone to blame

A face and a name

A distraction, revengeful endeavor.


Potter. It figures he came

To gloat and revel in fame.

But his eyes look so sad.

Hiding that he's glad?

I'm too tired to play this game


In a warm woolen cloak I was clad,

But Draco, was shaking so bad,

When words had all gone.

A ragged breath drawn.

A shoulder and warmth, though, I had.


He held me, that day on the lawn.

Is that when love started to spawn?

As I cried 'gainst his chest

I'd never have guessed

That he'd sit with me, silent, till dawn.


"Malfoy, your hair is all messed,"

I said nervously with a jest.

So much past to avoid

Peace is easily destroyed.

"Go to bed, we both need some rest."


I returned to the dungeon annoyed.

My loss, he should have enjoyed.

No, he'd never do that

Sentimental prat.

Places switched, with him I'd have toyed.


We'd spent far too long in combat.

I only saw him as a brat.

He's a person inside

He can no longer hide

By acting like some stinking rat.


That night should have wounded my pride--

That weakness cannot be denied.

But the loneliness fled

Though no words were said.

I liked having him at my side.


Though I lay alone in my bed,

I could still feel my hand on his head.

And his breath on my cheek

That made me feel weak

When the last of his mask he had shed.


I avoided him all of next week.

What Malfoy has acted so meek?

He was just being kind

I'd be out of my mind

To think my company he'd seek.


For days, no peace could I find.

To him, my thoughts were confined.

Away from all eyes

I was caught by surprise.

A hand gripping mine from behind.


A smile was all I could devise.

His feelings, he couldn't disguise.

He cared for me,

That much I could see.

Sudden panic in me started to rise.


I thought he was going to flee

I thought up a heartfelt plea.

But his lips upon mine

Sent chills down my spine.

We'll do that more, I guarantee.


We don't always get along fine

Our politics don't always combine.

But there's always been love--

What we need the most of.

And the kisses are always divine.


Gutterpirate Motto by d3ad4today


I'm a gutterpirate, yes siree

I like to SQUEE

and ship H/D

I like whip cream

I always cling

and a fetish for handcuffs

among other things

I spread the love

with glomps and shags

I proudly wave my H/D flag

Don't you dare call our boys fags!

Yeah, we sail real fast, but we don't brag

So come and join us and have some fun,

leer, jeer, and make bad puns!

We'll prevail someday with our handcuffs and guns

because our gutter is never outdone

I love my smut, and my fellow pirates too

I know you're jealous of our ships cool crew,

We have pretty art, and great recs to boot

And our newbies are adorable, cuddly, and cute!

World Domination

is our mission

So join our ship and see what you're missing

I'm a gutterpirate for life, indeed

and this gutterpirate motto is my creed.


Deductions by Napolde Tinuviel


Slash (backwards) = Hsals

Hsals (phonetically) = Hassals

Hassals (playing around) = Harrass

Harrass (synonyms) = Harry

Harry = Slash = Harry Is Gay

Draco is also gay, because the biggest Draco ship in the fandom is SLASH.

Therefore:

Harry x Gay + Draco x Gay = Guns 'n' Handcuffs!


H/D is a load of... by Napolde Tinuviel and _x_phoenixtear_x_


...subtext

...shagging

...snogging

...UST

...t00by wuv.

...pitless cherries

...stolen kisses

...opposites

...electricity

...sensuality

...gutter

...obsession

...passion

...contrasts

...ferrety goodness

...intensity

...angst

...hawtboysex

...imperfectness

...love


Untitled by Aethen


There once was a hot Draco!Veela

That made all the fangirls go, "Squeea!"

It's Harry he hates

So of course, they're mates.

Lucky Harry gets to cop a feela.


GnH has much UST

The growing fleet causes a SQUEE

After oaths from a N00b

Make us act like a T00b

Newbie packs lead to OLL!orgy


Harry went online one day

And surfed over to our FA

What he saw made him stare

"Me and Malfoy, a pair?!?!?"

"Hmm.. well, maybe that hottie is gay."


Yes, Draco gets Harry to fret

Cuz that boy looks DAMN GOOD upset

His childish pranks

Cause much needed angst

And Harry likes it, too, I bet.


"Draco? Why do they mention a gun?

The handcuffs, however, sound fun.

"Cuz, Harry, my dear,

A slight hint of fear

Can also help get the job done."


Ron, the poor guy, discovered

His best friend and Draco, uncovered.

Hermione might date

But won't obliviate

In ten years he hasn't recovered.



Lists by the Ship


H/D Drinking Game


Draco: Hmmm...we've done that...that happened...

Harry: Where are you going?

Draco: To get some Firewhisky. I think we should play this.

Harry: *looks at list* We're going to get so drunk...



H/D ABCs


A is for Alchemy

A is for Almost!Canon

A i s for Angst

A is fo r Arguments

A is for Attraction


B is for Begging

B is for Broomstick

B is for Buckbeak


C is for Cold

C is for Contrast

C is for Clash

C is for Crane

C is for Crying (in the bathroom)


D is for Danger

D is for Desire

D is f or Detention

D is for Devo tion


E is for Emo!Draco

E is for Endoftheworldsex

E is for Erised


F is for Fanon

F i s for Ferret

F is for Fics

F is for Firewhiskey


G is for GATL

G is for girly!Malfoyhands

G is for Guns

G is for Gutter


H is for Handcuffs

H is for Harry

H is for Hawtboysex

H is for HBP

H is for H0rcruxes


I is for Intense

I is for Intimate


J is for Jealousy

J is for Just Watching


K is for Kiss

K is for Kitchentable *gutter gutter*


L is for Lockerrooms

L is for Love


M is for Madam Malkin's

M is for Mai-Tais

M is for Malfoys


N is for Naughty

N is for 'nnoyances


O is for Obsession

O is for Obsessive!Love

O is for OTP


P is for Parseltongue

P is for Passionate

P is for Pirates

P is for Possessiveness

P is for Potter


Q is for Quidditch


R is for Regret

R is for Room of Requirement


S is for Secrecy

S is for Sectumsempra

S is for Shagging

S is for SLASH

S is for Sorrow

S is for Stag

S is for Subtext


T is for Tension

T is for Tinsel

T is for Truancies


U is for UST


V is for Veela


W is for Wall!Slamming

W is for Whipped Cream

W is for Wineglasses


X is for .... XXX


Y is for "Yes, Harry Yes!"


Z is for the Zoo Trip


Fic ABCs


A is for 'ab epistulis'

A is for 'A Thousand Bea utiful Things'


B is for 'Beautiful World'

B is for 'Beneath You'

B is for 'Blue vase'


C is f or 'Checkmate'


D is for 'Draco by Trial'

D is for 'Drac o in Darkness'


E is for 'Eclipse'

E is for 'Every Second'


F is for 'Facade'


G is for 'Gold T inted Spectacles'


H is for 'Haeddu'


I is for 'Icarus Rising'

I is for 'Invisibile To See'

I is for 'Irresistable Poison'


J is for 'Just This?'


K is for 'Keep Enemies Closer'


L is for 'Left My Heart'

L is for 'Love Under Will'


M is for 'Marks We Bear'


N is for 'Never Left Behind'


O is for 'Oscillate Wildly'


P is for 'Protective Bonds'


Q is for 'Quic Fics'


R is for 'Raincoat!Draco'

R is for 'Resolution'


S is for 'Second Chances'

S is for 'Snakes and Ladders'


T is for 'Tissues of Silver'

T is for 'The Goodness of Their Hearts'

T is for 'Transfigurations'


U is for 'Underwater Light '


V is for 'Veela Magic'


W is for 'Windfallen'


Y is for 'Your Side, Their Side and The Truth'